Christmas Cheer

"I know what my next two tattoos are. One is the praying cowboy on that shoulder (left) right there. I think the good lord would like that..." My brother-in-law.

That as far as I was concerned was the quote of the Christmas season.

Awkward

There are few things more awkward than holding the leash of a dog while they take a dump...

That's all, you already have the visual in your head.

Book I Enjoyed

Just finished up another book Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. The book is quite imposing at 750+ pages. I bought it on the bargain rack at Barnes & Noble for $2, the price per page was hard to pass up, I figured if it was awful then it could always be economically used to start fires. I was surprised to find it one of the better, more imaginative books I have read in quite a while.

Reviews of this book seem hesitant, they are always reserved, I had wondered after I bought it why. While it could properly be called a "fantasy" it is distinct from that genre. The story involves magicians that talk more about magic than actually do it. There is a whole alternate history involved in the book that is only briefly mentioned. Characters spend the majority of the novel unaware of their antagonist. You spend as much time loathing the protagonists as rooting for them. It is a hard book to classify, or even completely follow. Now that I've finished the book I believe I understand why, the story involves magic and magicians but it's interest is in relationships.

There are some interesting comments about relationships in the book, very practical ones. There is the question of sacrifice in relationships for the sake of careers, country, and a cause. The heroes pour their heart's into what they consider a public service and their wives, friends, and servants pay the greater price for it.

I really enjoy books like this, they may not be to everyone's taste, but I personally love the way they blend fantasy with the real. The further from reality a tale gets often the more boring it becomes to me. Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell has some pretty outlandish stuff in it, but it is grounded in the very real relationships among the characters. That is the secret all good fairy tales share, they are true to the nature of the characters and relationships, even if they create a fantastical view of nature and physics.

What Happened?

Just finished watching Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Movie is horrible. I had heard it was bad, what I heard was right. I should be ashamed of myself for even watching it. Aliens!!???!!! Indiana Jones is not about aliens.

What happened to the man who is responsible for an entire generation's childhood imagination? What happened to George Lucas? I can't explain it. I have wondered if the ability to create worlds in a digital space is his biggest problem. The man obviously has a big imagination, but imagination is only good up to a point, one foot has to be planted in reality. Before computers, when special effects were truly special, he had to keep his story grounded, after computers he could go anywhere his imagination let him, unfortunately that wasn't a good thing.

Past-Time

One of my favorite past times is re-writing crappy TV / movies in my head. Yes you read that right. I spend my time polishing turds, or pretending to polish turds, or thinking about what a polished turd would be like. Have I said "polished turds" enough for you? How about this one, Diamond in the Turd. A diamond in the turd is a cool idea / story that has been ruined.

Well known Diamonds in the Turd - the Star Wars prequels. The Star Wars prequels were much cooler before they were made. Pirates of the Caribbean that aren't the first one. Heroes.

Heroes has been my favorite subject lately. I think the main reason is that its so easy to improve. The show is horrible right now, anything you do would be an improvement.

So there it is. These shows are my version of the Maury Show. I watch them so I can shake my head and feel superior.

I need to get off this pain medication, I maybe admitting things that I shouldn't.

TURD - I said it again, couldn't help myself.

Surfing While Medicated

Any regular reader of this blog will also be someone I know (can't imagine there is anyone out there who finds this entertaining enough to follow otherwise). Anyone I know will know that I have just had knee surgery. This was my first experience with surgery, its pretty interesting, you close your eyes and a moment later there is a overbearing nurse asking you annoying questions like "What did you have surgery on?" Geezzz lady can't you look at my bandaged right knee and see, hey wait a minute, WHAT, not the right one, just kidding it was the right one... That was a joke I wanted to play, but didn't get a chance cause all I could think about was getting more wonderful, beautiful sleep...

So now that I'm back home, right knee bandaged up, walking on crutches, and with time on my hands the only rational thing to do is surf the internet. Surfing while on medication is fun. There are all kinds of things you can find. Example?

Here you go...

Being on medication makes me question whether I really saw what I think I saw on that webpage. BTW the google search for Cobra Commander is the Antichrist did not give me anything worth looking at - I need to create the page I expected to see from such a search.

Ebay is dangerous for the medicated. I was thinking about cereal and whether it would be more economical to win the bids on cereal nobody wanted so I did a search for corn flakes, and I found this. What I really wanted though was just a box of cereal, not the virgin Mary on a flake of corn. I almost got into a bidding war for a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, then I remembered there was some in the cabinet. My knee is hurt so getting to them may not be so easy. I wonder if I could get free delivery of my Honey Nut Cheerios to my lap from my cabinet.

Enjoy your day, my medication is making me want a nap..

Clarification

Some might look at my last post and assume my concern, like so many others, is the economy.  Economic conditions are set by the moral issues, I believe that as a countries principles go, so goes its prosperity.  In other words, lack of morals creates an environment where prosperity is impossible (maybe a future post). 

I singled out the voting based on the economy as something that disturbed me, and here is the reason.  There are people who voted for Obama based on the idea that he will restore economic prosperity.  What disturbs me is their lack of reason.  You have the right as an American to vote however you wish, if you want to vote based on economic policy you have that right, but if you're going to vote for economic policy make sure that the economic policy you are voting for makes sense.  Use the brain God gave you to consider whether the policies that are being proposed have historically worked.   

That is my issue.  Its the Idiocracy at work in the voting booth that causes me the most concern. 

Two-Minute Replays

So here is what could have been maybe 3 independent blog posts, but in the spirit of efficiency (laziness) I'm doing the two minute replay.

Crazy cartoons. Found a Donald Duck cartoon from the 1940's that has been banned, this ranks a 10 out of 10 on the Crazy-Crapto-Meter.



There was also this one...



Another post was about a co-worker who has to be a radioactively charged, mutant alien, with the super ability to stall projects. I was thinking of trying to compare him to a campy Batman villain from the 60’s, one with a very tight fitting and homo-erotic costume.



Lastly, although you might not believe it after readin this post, I have been thinking about depth. I admire those individuals that understand not only rhetoric, but the substance of the words and the meaning of the system that birthed that rhetoric. They could perhaps see in color the true make-up of the problems we now face. I want to hear from a prophet. There are things about our next President that I do not like, his stance on abortion and gay rights are a few, but even greater is the fallacy of the sweet sounding promises he has made. I feel a little I feel like a kid sometimes, who has just learned to tread water jumping into the deep end. There are a couple of moments where you push up and out of the water with an extreme sense of accomplishment right before you get your first mouthful of water. Thats how I feel arguing economic policy sometimes.

Here is what I do know, the US spent 30+ years defeating a socialists system, we didn’t have to fire a shot, socialism collapsed under the weight of the system itself. It doesn’t work. Taxing wind-fall profits, yeah what exactly is that going to do? If a company pays more taxes for making more money there are only two things that can happen, either they will cut back to assure no “wind-falls” or they will raise prices to compensate. Does everyone reading understand that neither are good things? Oh and one more thing, if a company is foreign then they don't pay the tax, so it kind of encourages any company that actually wants to be successful to not be American.

This is where I begin to feel that I am treading ideas and gasping for a concise thought. I understand the mindset that wants something for free, that acts as a parasite. I understand the mindset of the politician who says whatever he needs to get elected. I don’t understand the “educated” voters who turned out, the ones not looking for a handout, the ones who don’t recognize the danger of implementing irrational policies that have failed before. These are the people who pay into Social Security and don’t expect to take out. How can they not recognize that no matter how good it sounds to "help people out" to "give people a hand" the best way to do that is not to implement a socialist program.

The government will not save you. Historically government has been the most devastating, oppressive force known to man. The best you can hope for is a government that upholds the law and establishes order. If government doesn't demand you invade Russia for the cause your lucky, if you get to voice dissenting opinions and vote without first placing your nether-regions in a vice your blessed by God.

Emails & Comments

I haven't posted much lately, but its not because I have forgotten the blog, or slipped back into the habit of neglect, I've spent quantities of my time writing emails and posting responses to a co-workers blog.

Its been a fun, yet strenuous experience. There is nothing like questioning to make you grow. Over the past several weeks I have been amazed by the questions that hinder people. I've had times in my life where seemingly unanswerable questions rose and drowned much of my faith. I understand the debilitating presence of uncertainty. Being somewhat egotistical I guess I feel at times that all struggles are the same, and that all questions are your own.

If your interested in my co-workers blog it is here - I've responded as best I can to some of them, I hope to have more to report soon.

Other stuff... Couple of things this week that are blog worthy, and both are funerals. Two funerals in one week. Both funerals were caused by cancer. One lady was 36, a member of our Sunday school class. She had been married but a few years, and fought cancer through most of them. The other lady was 73, she lived a full life. Something that was notable about both ladies, they were both models of Christianity.

One of the great hindrances is that of the "unfaithful Christian". You don't even have to evangelize to hear tales of "Christian's" who act immorally and unfaithfully and cause others to shake their head dismissing anything Christian as hypocritical. I have heard a co-worker (not the same one) speak of Christian's with such spite because of this. Here were two ladies who were not a hindrance. They were lives lived to the very end with a loving, gentle spirit.

Man-Made?

Before sunrise Saturday morning I took this picture and pondered how preposterous the phrase "man-made lake" is.

Uncertainity

I, like everyone else, have wasted vast amounts of time over the last few days reading articles on the finical crisis. Why did it happen? What can be done to correct it? Should we correct it? When will we get our chance to make a run on the bank? All these questions and no clear answers.

My feeling on the crisis is that we will only know the right thing to do in about a decade or two. The economy is wicked complicated, filled with equal parts bullcrap and gold. The market's well being is based on the faith a large collective of people. Is the market bullish? Well all these people feel like it is, so it must be. The more collective good faith the market has, the better it is. Fuel and commodity prices are based on perceived future value. Companies that post record profits take a hit on their stock because they didn't excel expectations. Anyone who says they have it figured out is either Warren Buffet or they are lying.

Economists still haven't agreed on what was the exact cause of the Great Depression, even after fifty years of analysis. I have yet to see a theoretical set of steps that would have prevented the depression once it began. My feeling is that even with the benefit of hindsight the perfect solution will not be evident. There is the possibility that a bailout will instill confidence and the economy will rebound. There is also the possibility that a bailout will create massive inflation, causing even greater problems.

It could be that the problems are bigger than the will to solve it.

My favorite quote was from Warren Buffet. He had made comments a while back saying that you can't see who's swimming naked till the tide goes out. His comment today - "Wall Street looks like a nude beach.."

SpaceBookSter

I caved, yes its true I created a Facebook account. Yes, I know, its completely lame. So there are several things about this that annoy me, I know your dying to hear them.

First this is third profile I've had to setup on a social - networking site. I am a survivor of Friendster, and MySpace. This is the third time I've had to come up with something witty to say and pick out which which colors to paste all over the site. There is only so much of working with colors I can take, I am not color blind but I am color I-could-give-a-crap.

Second is the sense of exposure. I feel naked posting anything on Facebook, and not in the kinky way, its closer to the experience you get while wearing one of those hospital gowns. I feel like every picture, every post is analyzed thoroughly by everyone. I feel that way because that's what I do to other peoples profiles.

Third I am neither that into being social or into networking. If I don't know you, or haven't kept up with you there is probably a reason.

Why a Facebook profile? My Mom got one. When my Mom, Sister, Cousin, Wife all beat me to the punch technologically there is a problem, the strain on reality is to great.

I have an idea, I'm going to create the worlds first anti-social networking site - SpaceBookSter. Its just gonna be one page with a big sign....

GO AWAY!!!

Forgotten Post

Back in June I wrote several journal entries that I meant to post up but never got around to it, so consider this post back to the future, accelerate to 88 MPH and charge to 1.21 gigawatts.

In the airport (Washington DCA) waiting on a flight to take me home to Houston. Home is knowing where the nearest restaurant and store is. During this trip I have come to realize one of the comforts of home is knowing. Knowing where, knowing how far, knowing who.

So during the trip - last couple of days in fact we have walked over the capital city, soaking in what we could. Places we visited National Zoo, National Cathedral, National Portrait Gallery, Library of Congress, ate at Old Ebbitts Grill (oldest resturant in DC).

I was deeply affected by two places we visited, one was the National Cathedral, the other was the Library of Congress.


Walking to the Cathedral was a feat, no close subway connection, to those who are not used to it a two mile hike is not easy. The camera (Nikon D200) is just heavy enough to make lugging it around uncomfortable. The wind in DC kind of snaps at you every now and then. No clothing is quite appropriate. To hot for long sleeves, yet when that cold wind snaps you can’t help but want long sleeves and jackets. Its like walking into a cold room when you’ve been outside sweating.

We made it to the Cathedral and I was overwhelmed. Ten stories high (or something like that). Full of beautiful stain glass, flying buttress ceilings, statutes, carved stone, and scripture, yet the glory has left the place. The Cathedral stands on the highest point and is the highest building in DC. Coincidence? NO! It was built as a point to look to, a place where our leaders could look out and the highest place, the place of prominence would be a place of God.

While we were there we sat through a midday service. An Episcopal priest gave the service. She read scriptures, “if your eye offends you pluck it out...” she read this word of God, and she abruptly disregarded it. “I don’t believe anybody is going to hell, we are all under the grace...” Really? She then proceeded to concentrate on the “salt of the earth” and bring a self help to the message. We should be rich and flavorful to each other. I was prepared for something like that, but still, I sat in silence, angry at the irreverence of her message. If the word of God doesn’t mean what it says why is she teaching it? If she doesn’t like the passage why teach it? In this place that is the spiritual capital of our nation I felt an emptiness. The Cathedral was a museum. To her, and the care takers of that place, the scripture carved in stone (so they couldn’t be changed) were history lessons, simply ancient words of irrelevant nature. I wondered at the audacity of it. The answer to how came the next day when we visited the Library of Congress.

The Library of Congress was established after the Civil War, around 1897 (date maybe somewhat wrong but around there). This is important because at this time the 20th century was dawning, the Enlightenment was happening or had just happened, and the aftershocks of that event are plainly seen in that library. Unlike many of the monuments in the capital the library is relatively new, it s not seeped in the religious, it is a monument to man. The mascot of the library is Minerva, the Roman goddess of knowledge and defense. She is plastered along nearly every wall. Murals of her stood everywhere. I have a hard time explaining the folly I could feel seeping from the symbols plastered along all walls, I remembered Tom Nelson’s series on The Road to this Present Darkness. Pastor Nelson spoke of philosophical ideas launched from Europe, landing in America and spreading like cancer. Here it was, one of the first casualities, and one seeped in the philosophy that has spread. Man, honor and glory to MAN all around. Knowledge is theology, knowledge is god, man harnesses knowledge making himself into god.

One set of murals depicted the rise of communication. Man setting stones in patterns to communicate. Man creating scrolls from animal hide, a barely clothed woman looking on admiringly. An Egyptian carving symbols, a bare breasted woman sitting to his side. Monks copying onto a scroll, then finally Guttenburg and his press. Man, creating, woman as a ornament to the man’s side. There sitting in a case, sealed, one of the original Guttenburg bibles. The text is not admired as the word of God, but as a monument to man’s knowledge, his ingenuity. Modern man prefers the abstract god, the symbol without the substance, a mascot. It was this that connected the two things for me, the empty, hollow cathedral and the library. What the priest wanted was a mascot. She read the words of Jesus, the author and founder of our faith, and decided they were not to her liking, much better to have a symbol.

There are other things that connect the two places as well. The library reflects the philosophy under which it was built, man is elevated, it is the one of the first beach heads of modern thought and philosophy into the American mind. Down the street is an institution overcome with the philosophical compromises that were made as a result.

Downtown

Time to Panic?

This is one of those posts that I'm writing for my own benefit. It's a place holder, a bookmark of the stomach turning fun that's been had on Wall Street the last few weeks. Today The Fed seized WaMu because they have an idiotic name.

This seizure follows all kinds of badness going on, AIG, Bear Stearns (now there's a name), Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, etc... The whole market is having one huge epileptic fit, its what some economist have called a "correction". Forget that crap, give me the bubble baby, my e-Trade account likey the bubble. Okay confession, I don't even have an e-Trade account, even that baby on TV has an e-Trade account, I'm a little ashamed of myself.

In all seriousness the events of the last several months have caused me to wonder where we're headed. When you hear analysts talking about the potential for a Greater Depression then you have to worry. What do you do with that kind of information? There is no easy way to digest events of such scale yet with such an intimate effect. Are we talking about bread lines and 25% unemployment?

Couple of things about the Great Depression stuck out to me as I looked back over the wikipedia article. One was that economic downturn is not a quick process, its a sudden breaking event followed by a slow fall. Two, it was incredibly long, 10 years. Three, there was no policy that fixed the Great Depression, it was World War 2 that ended the depression.

Economics amaze me. The market, it is charged with the collective emotions of the entire world, it feels, reacts, breathes, and shutters.

The things that scare me...

How similar the causes for The Great Depression mirror the situation today. The crisis of the late 1920's has been attributed by some to cheap credit and debt. It seems a situation where you are basically cashing in tomorrows wealth today. Interesting analogy, the Prodigal Son. He cashes in his wealth, and ends up in a depression. This is what we as a society have been doing, cashing in tomorrow for today.

In the 1930's prices fell, right now they're rising. Fuel costs are continuing to rise, and driving consumer goods up. We have the potential for both depression and inflation at the same moment. How do you deal with that?

This morning I read some of The Sermon on the Mount. "Do not worry for tomorrow for tomorrow till take care of itself..." Guess that's the answer to my question, "tomorrow will take care of itself".

Wrong Email Address

Today I had the experience of receiving an email intended for someone else. This is not the first one, but it does rank as the one with the most amount of personal information. It was quite the email, long, personal, intimate even, I felt voyeuristic just reading it. It occurred to me this is something entirely new for the digital age. Now that txting / email / IM are the preferred methods of communication you have the potential of informing complete strangers about rashes, visas, and college football games (some of these were in said email - I will leave it to your imagination). Its as if you call the wrong number and blurt the entire conversation before you even know whose on the other end.

Reminds me of my days as an email administrator. There were certain instances when I would have to look through the mail "queue" to find messages that were blocking the flow of email (think of it as a digital equivalent of a plumber). Certain messages were "malformed" and you would have to delete them, but in the middle of looking for those messages you would open a message that wasn't technically malformed, but the sender certainly was. Shessh the stuff people put in email, didn't they know I was reading it?

I started thinking about what our preferred methods of communication meant about our society. It seems to me that conversation is preferred going one way. Email, txt, voicemail, even blogs are communication that are sent without acknowledgement. Something has been lost there. It seems even those communications are less than the hand-written communication of past years, there is a richness missing. Reading some of the old letters from my Granny I have the sense of hearing a conversational voice from the past, reaching out, and waiting for a response back.

Maybe humans have always been in the process of loosing what was before.

Living Biblically & Other Shiny Objects

Our small group has been reading through Screwtape Letters. There have been some very interesting points of conviction during the reading. My favorite chapter focused on the art of distraction, the sin of wasting your life doing nothing, neither what you ought nor what you want. Very interesting. This is by far my greatest struggle, and have attempted to live more purposefully, which is not easy. Distractions abound. The tiniest thing can send my mind wandering, I feel like I am no more disciplined than a pet sometimes, always chasing anything that squeaks or is shiny.

One thing the book has done is create an awareness of the spiritual in the everyday, because the everyday is spiritual. Today I caught myself reading through a book “The Year of Living Biblically”. I was in an airport terminal with some time to kill and found myself skimming the book. Questions spawned surrounding what the author of this book had done. He was living out the Old Testament law. Jesus said that not one “jot nor tittle would pass away” from the law that even “whoever transgresses the least of the commandments” was guilty. My mind raced through what I knew of the law, no shaving, no bacon. Okay stop right there NO BACON needs capitalization. Now that is sacrifice, pork is freaking awesome, and bacon is the most freaking awesome of the awesome, its a big train of FREAKING AWESOME AWESOME SWEEETTTTT running you over with every mouth watering bite.

How close to the law are we supposed to live? I realize that the New Testament explains that the law is a condition of the heart, and that the Old Testament law was meant as not only religious law but secular law as well, laws that amounted to common law. How much should we take seriously though? I want to get that book and read it, but here's the thing, should I?

Remember the Screwtape Letters comments? It occurred to me that during this time with so many in need following the hurricane the last thing I needed was a detailed study of Old Testament law, was this another “shiny” meant to distract? I stopped, put the book down. I am not sure whether I should swear off shaving (pretty sure I’m not) but I am sure that Jesus stated the greatest of the commandments was “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, the second is like unto it love your neighbor as yourself”. I will revisit the law questions at some point but right now I am going to focus on others.

Wet-YourSelf-1000

This my friends is not JUST a conference ID badge it is much, much more!!! May I present to you one of the most amazing pieces of technology I have experienced at this years conference, the WetMyself1000. This handy little device makes you feel five again. It is just long enough to give you that oh so wet feeling following a trip to the bathroom. It functions in much the same way your shirt used to. It hangs in exactly the right spot to make a big splash! The most special part of this amazing device is that just like your kindergartner self you will jerk away at the first stream, then douse all those around making it the most fun you’ve had since pre-school!!!

I’ve been assured that coming next year is a device that hangs to the back. The new device is code-named ToiletDipper1000 - it will recreate the shirt-tail in the toilet fun.

Las Vegas, how I despise the....

There are so many passages in my mind that sound so eloquent yet when transfered morph into horrible prose. When trying to describe Las Vegas I sounded long speeches in my mind that sounded of Faulkner, great stuff, so poetic, but yeah they sounded like a cheap crime novel when I put them down yesterday. Example? The city is glossed over, full of shine and glitter, hiding the grime and sadness right beneath its neon surface. I should just call the city a “dame” and put on a fedora. “The dame was pure white innocence in a dirty city, can’t play in the dirt and leave spotless I wanted to tell her...” See what I mean, cheesy right? Moral of the story, never trust myself. I am afloat in cheesy phrases 99% of the time. Anyone want some nachos?

I really don’t like Vegas. I despise Vegas. Everything is fake and imported. I have yet to meet someone from Las Vegas. My cab driver was from East Africa. Waiter from California. I guess Vegas is a young city, and nothing was here before it I mean NOTHING. Coming in on the plane you get wide vistas of absolute nothingness stretching in every direction, its barren desert, then there is this city that seems a mockery of everything. It has Italian architecture without the class and scale of Italy. Okay here’s something humorous - Pirate Bay, Venetian - this is a DESERT!!! Why not at least go with the landscape and build something that matches close to the surrounding area. But that's what this place is isn’t it? Its the flash without the substance. Felt suddenly convicted. Am I the flash without the substance? Casino that I think describes Vegas the best The Mirage.

VMWorld - An Ode to Analogies

I will be using analogies with reckless abandon throughout this post, you have been warned.

I’ve been walking around the VMWorld conference in Vegas and have the feeling that I’ve seen everything at least twice - its like deja vu all over again, literally. All these conferences require so much work depending on what you want to get out of them. If what you want to get out of them is free coffee and snacks your in for a sweet ride, if you want good information and an idea of what is coming then prepare to be sucker punched in the back of the head. These conferences are like a high school swirlie, you get your hair wet but still need to wash it afterwards. All the technology buzz is deafening. Everything is “virtualized” and so you end up being almost virtually satisfied, but not really.

Couple of things esxtop session - very awesome. Still confused by having >100% utilization, how is this possible?

Conference photographers, I’ve seen one picking his nose, isn’t this bad for the equipment? Maybe he was trying to evoke a mood in one of the photos - will investigate for next photo shoot.

Wireless is to conferences as clean forks are to a restaurant, if you can’t even get that right you have problems, guess what has dried food particles on it - thats right you have made my list for insufficient wireless access VMWorld!!!

Sober Minds

Real drama is quiet and sober. This week has brought very dramatic, sober situations and I don't really want to write about them. Such situations do not need my words to disparage their gravity.

I thought today about the verses in the Bible that speak of being of a "sober mind." I've always thought passages such as the mind of the wise being in the house of mourning, referred to being somber, I realized today that is not what those verses mean. During this time of gravity my thoughts have drifted to others, to helping friends and neighbors. My mind has dwelt on the Psalms where wise men declared that God was their fortress, and their salvation. During this time I have been more joyful because the problems and situations I deal with on a daily basis are seen in their true scale, which is small and temporal.

Be of a sober mind, but rejoice in the Lord always. Those are not contradictory statements.

The Lord is my fortress. Rejoice in the Lord always. He is a God who is near.

Bizarro Advertisements

Remember Bizarro the Superman villian from Htrae (earth backwards) where everything is backwards, you hate friends, love enemies, use nudity to sell clothes and cake to sell computers.

If you don't know where I'm going with this the marketing / advertising departments for companies have crossed over into the world of modern art.

Now some would argue that advertisements have always been crazy - as seen here. At least you know what is being advertised though. Billboards are the worst imho. I don't know what 90% of them are trying to sell me. Abercrombie has ads that feature not one piece of clothing. They sell clothes, but their ads feature nothing but nakedness, and worse than that male nakedness (the most hideous kind of nekked there is).

I see dozens of advertisements without any clear indication of what is being sold, and apparently without any real connection to the products they are selling. Is this some sort of weird reverse psychology? They put the male torso with a six pack almost as good as mine up there to remind the less blessed they should wear clothes?

Is this secret genius at work? I think its drugs. Large acid trips are the only explanation for toolishness of this magnitude.

This is the ad that inspired this post and nausea... Picture has been edited because I like you more than Abercrombie likes you.

Habit

Only bad habits form fast and stay long. Any positive change is only temporary. I lost 30 pounds in about 4 months at the beginning of the year. It wasn't that hard, like most things in life it comes down to really deciding to do something. I realize there are some exceptions, but for the majority of people the only thing stopping them from reaching a goal is lack of discipline. I decided I was gonna loose weight, and I lost it. I cut my portions, stopped eating sweets, stuck to water and coffee. I lost 30 pounds.

I have now regained 7 pounds. Apparently the discipline to start something is easier to come by than the discipline to keep it up.

That's life right?

Win / Loose - Ebb / Flow

Is there any constant in life? Harsh isn't it. There is a draining constancy in life yet an awful aura of change that draws in and out of our lives.

Like the sands through an hour glass so are the days of our lives right :)...

Old House

Wedgiefication or Olympic Gymnastics!!!

I may have missed the "sweet spot" for this particular post, but I'm gonna go ahead and post it anyway or maybe I'll just post the stuff that I actually wanted to write and not all the stuff I was gonna write to build up to it - does that make sense?

The gymnastic judging system is the equivalent of a middle school wedgie. For those of you who don't know middle school wedgies are known universally as the most dynamic and omnipresent of all wedgies (yes they seem to be everywhere at once).

The Chinese girl team had the biggest advantage not because of some scientifically proven logical nonsense, they won because they were of middle school age, in a sense they were at one with the wedgie.

They should add another scoring category specifically for wedgies and the competitors efficiency at picking them.

Ever notice how anything with a "The" in the title is important, The Olympics, The Superbowl, The Jeremy. Yeah I just included a "The" in my title.

That is the end of the post, I should do this more often.

Forgetting the Point

Security guys seem the worst at forgetting the "point." I'll give you an instance and see if you can relate. I'm in a meeting discussing a disaster recovery site design for the University. One of the comments was that a backdoor type of access maybe required so that in the event of a disaster we would be able to get in and bring everything online. The security guy became somewhat incredulous. "I can't believe that you would want to put hundreds of thousands of dollars into security just to allow someone to bypass it." I sat while he went off and then asked if it made sense to spend a couple of million to bring a DR site online only to make it useless during a disaster because it was so "secure."

Its not just IT security guys but security guys in general. The security guards at our apartment complex have the same sort of mentality. We have yet to get a 2nd hang tag for our new car. Some of the security guards have a hard time with this, they've been told that they have to sign in non-residents (i.e. someone w/o a tag) but we're residents. They continue to sign me in, everyday they ask me my name, to the point that its a joke. Why not go get a hang tag? I can't let them win, I'm gonna stick it to the man, or in this case the security guys!!

Severe Weather Days

Severe weather days are the "snow days" of south Texas. In honor of our first severe weather day of the year I wanted to post the top five things to do during a severe weather day.

5.) Hoard gas!!! You should anxiously fill every spare tank with gasoline, you never know when sniffing the fumes will be your only relief from the boredom that comes after a few hours without electricity.

While your at it you should hoard everything. Grab Sam's size portions of baked beans and packs of peanuts. You never know when you may need 5lbs of Vienna sausages.

4.) Assess blame!!! Why do we still have storms? If Wiley Coyote can invent a weather machine why hasn't the government created one yet? Why has someone not done something about this already? I personally blame George Bush.

3.) Panic!!! Severe weather gives you an excuse to LOOOSSEEEE YOUR MIND!! The higher the number associated with the hurricane the more insanity there is to be had. Panic allows your fantasies to run wild. For appropriate level of panic try to relate the situation to some form of disaster movie. It's important to relate to the appropriate disaster movie though, The Day After Tomorrow, no good, has to happy and optimistic of an ending. Think Apocalypse Now or Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome!!! That's right, think Mel Gibson's greasy hair.

Yes this is what your hair will look like in the post apocalyptic world of this storm ladies. That should put the appropriate fear into you.

2.) Loot!!! Hurricane season and the Christmas holiday season are back to back, why not get an early start?? Looting is like a 100% off sale with the added benefit of being like a real live version of Grand Theft Auto. You get to run from cops, snort pepper spray and get that sweet LCD TV you've had your eye on.

1.) Celebrate your Anniversary!! Yep thats right, it was our Anniversary today. What a great time for a storm to hit. We just completed our 2nd year of marriage and WOW what a great two years. We celebrated with a little looting, some panic, and sniffing a little gas, if somethings not broke don't fix it :)...

The Day of One's Death

"The day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth..." Ecclesiastes 7:1

My wife's Grandfather passed yesterday. He was a strong man beaten by blows from diabetes, liver failure, and infection. Each took turns humbling a once proud man. The goodbyes that linger the longest are the hardest, and his goodbye lingered.

Saying goodbye with such finality is hard. You begin saying goodbye when they stop being the person you knew, because that person is already gone. As their body is beaten their spirit is bruised, the humor and personality are abandoned. They struggle for breath, and conversation is no more than soft whisper.

While we have been visiting I walked around their place. Ten acres of land surround them. A pasture for the cattle, a shed, and a space for a garden. There is a nice backyard with a soft carpet of grass, not a thing to be taken for granted in the dry climate.

I have thought much about my Gramps and Grandpa during this time. I guess what I'm really thinking about is the passing of a generation. These men we're loosing, they were real men. They were all married to the same woman for 50 years, they raised big families, they grew and built.

Dirt and grease on hard hands. Sun dried faces fresh touched by razors. Few words, much action. Building and tending to everything they had. They wasted nothing, they valued everything they had.

Now the grass overtakes the fence, and the shed needs repair and paint.

"One generation passes away, and another generation comes;
But the earth abides forever." - Ecclesiastes 1:4

God has rigged it hasn't he? There is no winning, we are all Sisyphus rolling the stone up the hill only to watch it roll down again.

Statue from the National Cathedral in Washington DC.

Several years ago I stood in front of the mirror of my apartment's bathroom, I stared into my own eyes and asked myself a question "what are you doing?" The question came on a Sunday afternoon after a weekend filled with sin that I thought of sincerely as fun at the time. I was empty, alone, and sad.

For some time I just stood there, then I prayed and asked God to lead me to somewhere far away from that place.

God did not leave me alone, a few months later I found myself with a group of people I now consider my closest friends. I began going to a college / career group called RLU and I will call it heaven sent, because that's how I felt and feel about it. God answered a deep need, and used a group of single believers to draw me closer to him. I loved RLU, I loved it dearly. It was a moment in my life that I will always look back to as wonderful, it was God answering prayer.

The group disbanded right about the time I met my wife, talk about God's timing. I've felt as though God provided a bridge between two points in my life. He needed me broken first, and he allowed me to get far enough away from him to feel the dark taint of sin, then he gathered me gently back, and put me in a place where I needed to be for my wife.

While it was a short time, I still look back on that time with fondness. What surprises me is the way others talk about that time, and not just about RLU, but about singles groups in general. There is no part of life not filled with some awkwardness, some amount of annoyance, yet for some it seems the focus of all evil in the church is the singles group (exaggerated for effect).

There is a tendency to find fault where others do, something about mob-mentality that destroys the sweetness of something when bitter words are cast out against it. I've heard remarks about how "awkward" that time was, how "messed up" it was, how it was nothing more than a "meat market" and I think to myself, "well why did you go?"

I found myself second guessing my memories of that time, wondering if I somehow left details out. No matter how hard I look though I still cannot find the bitter in anything other than the fact that it is gone, and will not be there for the next "me" who needs a bridge from one part of their lives to the other.

Some memories.

Going to Crystal Beach with Richard to just hang out. Leaving as the sun was rising over I45 sometime around 5AM.

River-Run, my cousin went, it was right before he became a father and such trips were no longer possible.

Suppressed Desire party, I won the "dinner for two."

July 4th party, John Ford with the complete hook up on the house.

Galveston, Brazos Bend, Miller Outdoor Theater, Thursday night - always Thursday, and late night Taco Cabana.

I did know what I had, and its gone, I wouldn't go back, but it was certainly a nice rest stop.

Friendships

A couple of posts ago I commented on the cyclical nature of friendships. My focus of the post was a friend of my wife's but my own friendships came to mind as well. A friend that has drifted in and out over the last several years moved in a couple of apartments down from me this last week. He is a friend, but one of the infrequent friends that seem to populate a work week and not weekend. He is recently divorced, the aftermath of which has left him in a one bedroom apartment in a sad older complex all alone.

Divorce scares me perhaps more than anything else. Its everywhere, and across racial / social divides. There is no segment of the population who are not touched. The Bible says that husband and wife are considered one flesh, one person, it follows that divorce is the murder of that person. Over the past couple of years I have seen the adaption from single to couple, and I can say that I am no longer the same person. I've wondered at divorce more now that I'm married than I did before, how does it work? How do you separate yourself from someone who has been flesh of your flesh? I would find it akin to deciding one day that I could no longer live with my right hand, and taking a hacksaw to it. When you wake up the morning after leaving your (w)(l)ife what part of you is left?

Amputees report still feeling as if their limbs were attached, a man I knew growing up who had lost his pinky said that the worst was when his missing pinky itched. Wouldn't life after divorce have the same sensation, the sense that its still there, but not there enough to actually touch.

My favorite part of Lord of the Rings is Gollum. If there was ever a character that represents sin and ugliness of humanity its him. He is eaten up with the love and hate for something that is torturing him, that has caused him infinite pain, and has driven him away from all he loves and cares for. Try as Gollum might he can never in and of himself be rid of the Ring (or evil), even as it sends him to a fiery abyss he cradles it in his arms and calls it "precious."

What sin in my life do I call "precious" that hurts me, and causes me to hurt others. What may drive others away, and divide me from everything I love and care for.

This pic is from the National Cathedral's door. I like finding subtle details to photograph. Of all the pics I took while being there this is my favorite, I like places where the closer the look the more you find, intricate I believe is the word.

Decline and Fall

After we got back from Washington DC I had a whole lot to say. We had visited a group of sites that are symbols of what our country's soul. I wrote a long post in my personal journal about my feelings, they are not positive, many sites left me with a deep uneasiness at what our country has come to value.

The greater uneasiness also has to do with the decay I see around the capital. There is sense of not necessarily danger, but a sense that you should be cautious when you're walking through DC. I've heard since that DC is not that bad - but not that good either. Here is something that I found interesting though, and that is my response to the capital now as opposed to eight years ago.

Eight years ago I went to DC and found the city incredible. I was in love with DC, spent time jumping between the different sites even late into the night. I was alone for much of that trip (maybe a future blog post) and never felt anything other than complete wonder. This time I felt uneasy for much of the trip, why? Has the city changed. I felt that maybe it had. Since I was there last 9/11 occurred. Where there was once an open lawn in front of the Capital Building now stands an impressive metal fence. The fence looks to be of solid steel and formidable, its not an addition made for aesthetics. You can walk across the lawn, but it is less opened than before. I wondered if perhaps the capital reflected an underlying mood, suspicion, and perhaps I was picking up on that. Another thing that has changed since I went to DC last, and that was now I have a wife.

Assuming the role of a husband and feeling responsible for the safety of another is a strange thing. I wonder if my cautious gaze is not due to my wife walking beside me. It is amazing how much marriage changes you. There is a tendency to feel that marriage is just another step or passing sign in your life, but it is far more than that. I cannot create an analogy that will make sense to those who have not experienced it. I remember my Dad seemed to be constantly telling me that I would "understand when I'm older" and he was right, I do understand now. We are just not capable of comprehending something so far out of the reality we know, we can observe it, but in experience is the only true understanding.

I have thought a lot about the cyclical nature of friendships. I cannot name the number of people who seem to rotate in and out of my life. Friendships are amazing things, they add color and shading to our lives, creating something more vivid than before.

Enough of analogy, why am I thinking about friendships? Well two things. One is the departure of some very dear friends of ours. They are moving to Florida. (Future posts idea -- couple friends -- spent some time inserting it into this post but that is not what this post is about.) They have been our "goto" friends for the past year or so, the friends you call at the spur of the moment to do margaritas, movies, or just hanging out. The great thing about goto friends is that the best times are often had without plans. Over the past year the best of times have been had with our goto friends, they are already missed, and the blank spots in our nights will be hard to fill. We took some pictures of them before they left - one was the picture included in this post. It's hard to watch friends move away, but even harder to watch them drift away.

This weekend we attended a wedding for one of my wife's friends. It was not the happy event that it should have been. A couple of months ago her friend found herself on the wrong side of marriage and pregnant. This weekend she had a small backyard ceremony, and after a few giggled oaths her boyfriend became her husband. It's hard to summarize feelings on such an occasion. There are lots of tight smiles and disingenuous congratulations. Statistics tell us that chances of happy endings in such situations are not good. What type of ending is "good" in such a situation?

On the long drive home my wife sat silently for a long time and stared into the passing East Texas landscape. The sun was casting the last touches of the days light along the fields and small towns we passed. My wife's friend has slowly drifted away over the past couple of years. They were friends whose relationship was based on the past, and that distance is far greater than the one between us and our friends in Florida.

There are tiny margins that separate different possibilities in our lives. How many moments separate any of us from a life far different from the one we picture ourself in. A backyard wedding seems an appropriate example for the choices that mark the biggest of changes in our lives.

Continuing what I would like to think of as stellar consistency I am posting yet again. I've maintained a once a year post for the last several years. I won't say their worth the wait, but for the one of me that goes back and reads this it doesn't matter :)..

Wow, one bad thing about only posting once a year is the overwhelming amount of material to catch up on. I graduated this semester. I have finished a 10 year long track in getting my BBA. I don't know whether to call it a success or not. The process was so long that I've come to the end not knowing whether to be proud or ashamed. My wife is proud of me, she told me it was comforting that I don't give up on my dreams, and that I won't ever stop working on them.

Other's comment "you've been going to school as long as I've known you." I won't lie it stings a little. I'm aware that by some measure I am like one of the last few crossing the finish line.

Reminds me of a track meet in middle school. I decided to run the 200 (1/2 of the track). I lined up (you could spot me easy because I was the shortest one in the lineup), and waited for the gun (in my mind it was a gun - maybe not), it went off and for a few seconds I was with everyone else, fighting for the lead, then everyone seemed to drop it into some gear I didn't have. I watched as the pack left me further and further behind. It felt as if my legs just wouldn't work properly, I was running as fast as I could and yet when I turned the corner all the others were already at the finish line. I finished the race, and found that I had run my fastest time ever, but my fastest was just not good enough.

Felt that way at graduation. I had run as fast as I could, yet all these kids were crossing when I had just turned the corner. I thought of something a little later on, I remember that race. Along the sideline there were a few of my team-mates and they were cheering for me, they weren't even in the race, but they were supporting me. At graduation I had a sideline as well - my Wife, Mom, Dad, and Mother-in-law. My Mom cried, and I could tell my Dad was proud. They were cheering from the sidelines, but they never made it to the race. I was in the race - even if I finished last, I finished.