Big stuff today. Wife got hit by another car in the Krogers parking lot. Wasn't high speed, but we did end up in the hospital for observation. I was scared for a while. The thought of loosing the baby seemed real. There was a moment when my mind ran through what it would feel like to mourn all the possibilities that would never be. It scared me, it really did.
It occurred to me during this process that I have made the turn, I now consider myself a Dad, I am not technically one yet, but close. When I first got married there would be times when I would wake and a feeling of unreality would wash over me, I would think to myself "I'm married" as a reminder, because it felt as if I had just been daydreaming the whole thing. Over the past several years that feeling has gone, I am married, to feel not-married would be surreal now. I wonder if that feeling of unreality will hit me often during the first few months of life for my little baby boy.
I honestly don't think I will have time to think about it, I think tomorrow I'm going to wake up and I'll be 55 and my son will be out of the house, and whatever other kids will be soon moving that way.
Thinking about today makes me amazed at how quickly things can happen, how quickly they can change. There is a feeling that the days pass so quickly I have to be imaging them. Today there was so much that went on, yet it was gone in the amount of time it takes to forget a dream once you open your eyes.
