12-1D

Apartment 12-1D. I've moved out, forward all mail, but leave all bills please.

I sit here in my new home while rain pours outside and ponder the newness of this place, and all the memories of the old apartment. As with many posts on this blog I feel an incredible rush and urgency until the moment I begin to write then find a traffic jam of feeling and emotion sitting at my finger tips and an empty screen staring back.

I grew up in 12-1D. I may have graduated high school and gotten my first job in my parents house but growing up really started one night when I put a final load in my Dodge Avenger and drove into Houston to my new apartment.

When you spend a decade in a place you come to identify with it. You know it, you know the exact position of the knobs for a hot shower. You know the exact way to close the door. There are well worn paths throughout your place, they guide you no matter how dark.

Many neighbors came and went, but I stayed. I had a corner apartment, shaded in the morning.

I met my wife and we spent the first three years of our marriage in that little apartment. I will never be able to think of that apartment without a tiny knot of sentimentally welling up in my throat. Even the hard stuff seems easy in retrospect. When I first moved out I had little or no money. I ate Ramen noodles, watched TV on a 12'' screen. Weekends were spent alone, I couldn't afford to go out.

I grew up in 12-1D. There are memories, more than I can count. Most of the good ones involve my wife, my Heather. Before her I thought of my tiny apartment as a black hole, a place where I disappeared for a few hours of sleep. She put life into my tiny little black hole, she brought in the light.

One memory before I get to the story of moving out. Our first Christmas as a couple. Heather convinced me to get a Christmas tree. We were in the middle of finals, but we couldn't force ourselves to pay attention to them. We spent time watching Christmas movies, drinking hot chocolate, and staring at the most sparsely decorated tree ever. That Christmas was the first that I can remember thinking of that apartment as home. Prior to that Christmas home was always spent at my parents place, it was home, after that Christmas my apartment was home.

Moving out wasn't a hard decision, but the whole event has lingered in my mind.

Next post, getting the house.

Who your friends are....

Those who you invest the most time in are not always the people who will invest time back in you... Found this out moving into our new place November 21st 2009..

Government Downsizing

Read an article in USA Today about a trend in the Northeast to downsize local governments. Towns in New York are holding referendums to eliminate council positions. This is fascinating. You have a group of people who are finally standing up and proclaiming that government is "for the people by the people".

What is fascinating to me about this situation and others I've recently read about is the extent to which human emotion plays into decisions. I've been reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and the book gives some real insight into situations such as this.

The ringleader of the movement, Kevin Gaughan, has successfully ousted many town council positions consolidating the five positions down to three. He sells his downsizing by playing up the anger of the people, talking about how times are tough, that they've lost jobs, why shouldn't the government have to tighten its belt too? Council members sit on their bench, raised above the crowd, and that is just not how it should be. They are servant of the people, and if they are not doing something to fix the problem then they are a problem.

So to think through the situation logically, what does the council have to do with jobs being downsized by international corporations? Nothing. Have these council positions been expanded in the past ten or twenty years? No. Does a council position make someone wealthy? No, a position only makes about $16,000 a year, this means eliminating two positions would save each tax payer about $4 a year.

While I am not really for or against the idea of eliminating town council positions it is fascinating how a man can rally a cause using situations where people are scared and blaming those that have no authority or ability to change the situation causing the fear.

I remember a history professor talking about this. There is a need within humans to simplify bad situations into black and white. If there is an economic downturn the problems are rarely black and white.

Try making a talking point of the current situation, what exactly happened to cause the downturn? Economics has always been part black magic. Was it the oil prices going up causing inflation? Was it the real estate bubble? Was it the over leveraged credit? You know what I think it was, the guys with red hats, they did it!!! It was those guys!!

See how effective that is? You see the red hats in your mind don't you. You can visualize guys in red hats. You now have something to concentrate your frustration on.

I think this movement has the potential to go national, and by that I mean people actually discussing eliminating Congressional districts. If the current instability remains I have no doubt this will be discussed. It doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense, that people would be asking to eliminate representation, they want to blame someone, who better to blame than politicians?

Mirrored Elevators

I do not care for elevators with mirrors. I'm guessing that in theory the mirrors help the more claustrophobic, make the elevator seem larger. Anyway forget that, take the suckers out, RIGHT NOW!!! They are to dangerous!!

Today I'm standing in the elevator doing what you do in elevators, wait and stare. I notice something, I'm staring at the reflection of a dude on the other side of the elevator. Worse he catches me staring at the reflection, which I thought of just as a side of the elevator until a second ago. Now me and the dude are having a moment, just the two of us, on an elevator, with the reflections.

I did the only thing a dude can do in a moment like that, COMMIT!!!! You have been caught, you were dude staring, or dude gazing, or something to do with looking at a dude in a confined area, you have to commit and win the staring contest. The goal is to make the other dude more uncomfortable than yourself.

This was a big dude, and he was not in the least uncomfortable, we stared, reflection to reflection, ding, elevator ride done. The dude stare was broken as the elevator doors slid back and the lobby replaced the view of some dudes kisser.

I stepped out of the elevator thinking next time I will be one of the impatient number gazers, anything is better than the thought of staring at a dude, then getting caught.

Do you tip everyone now?

So I've run up against something that confuses me and that is the trend of constant tipping. Is this something new?

A few years ago I could only name a few places I would tip - restaurants and the barber come to mind. At a hotel I would carry my own bags, and I live in Houston so I'm rarely if ever in a taxi. Lately it seems tip jars have popped up everywhere. Is this new or have I just not seen it?

Coffee shops, ice cream parlors, shuttle services, the porter at the airport, everywhere is a tip jar. The latest place tips have shown up is online on blogs and podcasts. I have occasionally tipped for a good blogpost or podcast but I've always felt it was merit based. The people on the other end are making little or nothing from their posts, they are working hard in many cases, they deserve a tip.

Should people doing their everyday jobs for which they are being paid get a tip? I mean if you need to tip the ice cream lady do you also need to tip the McDonald's cashier? If the ice cream lady why not the McDonald's dude? Am I missing something?

The waitress at a restaurant has her compensation based on the idea that she will get tips, is it the same way with these other services? If I'm paying $2+ for a cup of coffee is the salary for the "Batista" not built into that price? Is scooping ice cream into a cone really a tip worthy service? If so how much?

Its not that I'm uber cheap or anything I just find it confusing.

This week I was shocked to find a tip jar in the shuttle from the hotel. Why? I've never tipped before, have I been rude and inconsiderate? Is tipping expected for these types of services? I'm guessing the hotel employee isn't paying for the gas or the van that has the hotel name stamped on the side.

The other issue, I rarely carry cash so I always find myself sheepishly wondering how to deal with these situations. I mean its only a dollar or two, its not like I mind giving a tip, its just that its unexpected and I'm not quite sure merited.

Am I the only one who asks these questions?

Credit Scores and Giant Hemorrhage Inducing Constipation Turds, Is There a Difference?

Allow me to rant for a minute, or two if you don't mind.

Back in April / May time frame when we first began looking for a house I did what most buyers do - check my credit score, see if anything is hanging out that I wasn't aware of etc... No issues or problems, just checking it out. Had excellent credit, no issues, applied for a loan, got a good rate, life was good.

Six months later we finally find a place, before we found a place we also found furniture, nice bedroom furniture. We had no idea when we purchased the furniture how soon down the road we would be getting a house.

Pier 1 has a deal, sign up for a credit card get 10% off your entire first purchase. Bedroom furniture cost a lot, we are talking hundreds of dollars in discounts. How can we pass that up? We are looking for a house but it won't really affect the score that much will it? My credit is very, very good, won't hurt a bit, what's a few points?

Applied and promptly got turned down for the card. That's right turned down!! Have the embarrassing moment where the lady walks over and says that it turned me down. WHAT??? I'm not trying to brag but I have an above 800 credit score. There is not a late payment on my credit. How could I possibly be turned down? She says that I will get an explanation letter in the mail in a few weeks. A few weeks later I do not get an explanation, instead I get a Pier 1 credit card!!!

A shiny new Pier 1 credit card appears, and the first purchase will be 10% off!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! We already have the freaking furniture!!!! It does me no good now!!!!! Okay, okay, that was mild frustration, but only mild compared to what I've seen this useless credit card do to my score.

How many points would you think applying for that card would throw me? Five points? Ten points? Ohhhh noooo, thirty-five points!!!! That's right thirty-five points off the credit score trying to grab a few hundred dollars of rebates. That thirty-five points is going to cost thousands upon thousands of dollars.

Man I hate credit cards and credit card companies. The whole credit score system is such a crock of crap. I am the most uber form of pissed right now!!!

"Dude, I'm married with patio furniture..." Prez

I have four posts "in the works."

Two of them are over Saul, the evil Israel overlord who tries to murder David. I will get back to that soon, I'm hoping by the end of the month, those posts take so long.

Another posts is about my Aunt. I just don't know what to say, its a horrible situation. I'm actually a few years older than my Aunt so we grew up as something more like cousins. I have never known a person so prone to drift with whatever influence came her way. Now everyone waits to see what will happen. What to say?

The other post was about two different books I have just finished, Up in the Air and City of Thieves. Of the two books Up in the Air was the most that I had something to say about.

I don't want to talk about any of that. Right now I am sitting next to a wife who nervously watches her Dallas Cowboys try to loose yet another game. We have spent most of the weekend setting up bedroom furniture. That's right bedroom furniture. Never thought I would spend so much on bedroom furniture. Never thought I would spend so much time setting up bedroom furniture.

There is something that has stuck with me from a HBO show we really like The Wire. One of the characters is asked if he wants to go out with everyone, he comments "I'm married with patio furniture". The level of married you are somehow has a correlation with furniture. Let me just say this, there is easily 4X - 5X the amount of money spent on this as I've spent on all the furniture I've ever had in my life. Of course when I moved in I spent I total of $75 on furniture, doesn't take much to get more expensive than that.

Married with bedroom furniture, yeah, I saw her eyeing some patio furniture online, wonder how long till we're shopping for that?

Up in the Air

Finished up two books recently, might explain why I'm having a hard time completing another post on David, but anyway the books.

First Up in the Air. Amazing book. The title, like most, has dual reference. Ryan Bingham is a member of the business class of flyers who rack up hundreds of thousands of miles a year always up in the air. At a deeper level Ryan's life, plans, relationships are all metaphorically up in the air, always circling the runway, and the story is about him trying to land only to find he has been circling the wrong runway.

What happens when you stop moving long enough to realize all the people and ideals you have put your faith cannot hold altitude?

I always enjoy getting a chance at peaking inside the lives of people who live so radically different than I do. I fancy that I could have been Ryan Bingham, a man lost in the airways of the United States given just a few different choices.

The book is the story of the crash landing at the end of such a disconnected life.

Some of the concepts I found fascinating in the book had to do with how endlessly worthless corporate ideology is. Ryan searches for value, for meaning, in his work with no success. He criticizes the religious while worshipping a god he knows is false and will ultimately sacrifice him. The book leads us through his faith in each and every one of his idols being destroyed.

Is that what the book was trying to convey? Is there a sense that once you slow down, once you stop flying and put some weight behind the ideals you have in your life they will give way underneath you. The only way to manage is to maintain altitude, never travel in a straight line, always jump from point to point?

It was a good book, very sad, and very modern.

Saul - King 1.0 (David Part 3)

This post was started back in September. I just couldn't get this one going for some reason, I'll post what I have and maybe something else will come to mind later.

Saul is one of those tragic Bible figures. He is known for his pride. He is known for his rebellion. He is known for his murderous attempts on David. It would be nice to point to some point of Saul's life, prior to his rebellion, where he was not the man he would be remembered for, and show where he went wrong. There are a few stories that display courage and humility. His hiding among the baggage when he knew he would be pronounced king.

When I started really evaluating though what stuck out with me about Saul is how he never really pursued God. Along his path to being anointed by Samuel the initial departure is due to missing donkeys. His father wants him to go find the donkeys, he sets out and journeys far and wide looking for a pair of difficult jackasses. It is his servant that recommends going to see Samuel or "the seer" to find the donkeys.

Saul's reaction to the suggestion of going to the seer is interesting. He asks what they will bring to pay Samuel off. I haven't been able to find (due to lack of trying - I have to admit it) how large of an issue that custom was, this was not something that seemed to concern the servant when he suggested going to Samuel. What I do know is that Saul goes to Samuel looking for a favor, and there is a certain business like nature to the arrangement. David does not go to Samuel, Samuel goes to David. Saul is man's attempt to appease God with whatever we happen to bring. David is God coming to us because we really have nothing worth bringing.

This is the difference between the two men. I have another post where I talk about how much alike they are, but this is the essential difference. Saul is a religious man, David is Godly man. David realizes that you can't buy favor with God, he created the fullness of the world including you and I, what could we possibly bring? Saul wants a favor from God, but he will not pursue God and inquire of God, he will attempt to pay.

I have more on Saul but I figured I would post this up. These post are way more exhausting that I expected.

It's good to be king!! Horrible to be a subject! (David - Part 2)

Until the 20th century one of the most popular cure-all's was something known as quicksilver. Quicksilver was said to be the cure for indigestion, syphilis, hair loss and old age. It was a fantastic medicine, it would do it all. The problem with quicksilver was that it didn't do all these things. It does not cure anything, and as a bonus it is highly poisonous. Quicksilver is a really cool name for the element Mercury. Mercury poisoning causes "paralysis, insanity, loss of motor control and death." During the better part of three or four centuries people would take quicksilver with the effect of getting worse and not better.

So the question is how did mercury get a reputation as a cure all when it poisoned? The answer seems to be that mercury looked kind of magical, its a metal that stays liquid at room temperature. It was a case where it looked magical, it looked like a medicine. There was certainly no empirical proof that mercury lived up to its reputation, in fact it was quite the opposite. It was easy, it did everything, it was supposed to cure everything you could possibly ever have, take it, its easy, it will solve the problem.

Kingship. The closest thing we have now is the royal family of Britain. They are a far cry from the old school kings. The traditional kings, the historical kings seem dated, and foreign to us in a way that the current British crown does as well. The idea of giving complete control to one man, setting him up as absolute authority seems like a disastrous and idiotic idea. So when I read through Samuel and reach the 8th chapter I have a hard time comprehending the request "give us a king". It seems odd to have a group of people asking to be relieved of their money, their children, the best of their property, and their right to complain or stop any of this from happening. This is exactly what the people of Israel are asking for, they are asking for someone to come in, steal, kidnap, rape, murder, and to do it with the full weight of the law. What??!!??

When they come to Samuel with this request he isn't pleased, and neither is God. God being good and gracious does not just grant them what they ask for and let them find out the joy of being a subject to a king, he actually lays out exactly what the king will do.

"This is what the king who will reign over you will do: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your menservants and maidservants and the best of your cattle [b] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day." I Samuel 8:11-17

The Israelites live in a country surrounded by kingdoms. They have plenty of object lessons on what it is like to live under the rule of men. They have been oppressed historically, they know what having a king is all about. Just in case there was some kind of misconception, some belief that it will be different God lays it out. Here is everything a king will do to you, your children, and your children's children. This is the system you are asking for. Then God puts it to a vote, after hearing all of this, do you still want a king? Do you want to take quicksilver? Its poison, it will kill you, I know it looks good, but it will cause insanity and death.

Yes, not just yes, but heck yes, give us that!!! Give us a king!!

WHAT???!!!

Seriously?

This is what you want?

Here is the thing, this is what they wanted, and its what we want too. We are all quick to give up responsibility. Responsibility is heavy, it weighs on us. Lets start simple with a simple example, a houseplant. How many have had the experience of going out of town and thinking as your getting in the car, I wonder if the plants will be alive when I get home, guess I should have thought of that. What about a pet? Can't just leave them, have to get someone to watch them or bring them with you. Get married, be a man who takes on the responsibility of a wife, have children. Finances, home repair, dinner, its heavy, its hard, we just want to give it to someone else.

Do we as a society want someone to fix things? What are all these "public services" if not? Public education, transportation, healthcare? People just want someone else to fix it, to take care of it, to do it for them. There is a cost though.

When transportation is public you don't get to go directly where you want, or stop wherever you want. You don't get to choose the amenities. You get in, you sit down, and you ride. You involve government in education and you don't get to dictate what your child learns or the quality of their teachers.

Now imagine that responsibility being national defense, not in the sense of being part of the National Guard, but in the sense of supplying the tanks, guns, missiles. You were responsible as a people to individually go out into battle trusting God to deliver you from the people you were fighting.

Israel of the time had faced war for countless years. They had been beaten and oppressed by all the surrounding peoples. We have the benefit of seeing these struggles as ordained by God, a way of God bringing his people back into his will. In our everyday lives we react like the Israelites did. We see trials and we seek to solve the trials in pragmatic ways. We see financial struggles we respond with hiring financial advisors. We have medical problems we go to the doctor. Now there isn't anything wrong with those things, but trusting in those things, believing they will save you is wrong. The Bible is very clear that God was using the various people to bring the Israelites back to him. Their sin was the root cause of their continuous struggle, yet like us in our lives they looked for a physical solution to a spiritual problem.

Their burden of responsibility was heavy, they were tired of fighting for themselves, they just wanted to have a guy who would do it for them, take on the job of national defense. If it costs them, it was a price they were willing to pay.

"We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles." I Samuel 8:19-20

The Israelites wanted a warlord. They wanted someone to fix the problem, they wanted someone to lead them up into battle. The oppression they had experienced was from God, he had brought them the trials. This was their solution. They rejected God as ruler, they turned to man, a warlord to fix their problem.

We never get what we want. As Goliath taunts the Israelites Saul hides along with his men. David stays in Jerusalem in the time when kings go out to war. Israel will find out that a king is just a man, and he will seek others to shoulder the burden that is his own. He will sin and cause them suffering, he will take and not give. He will not protect them, in fact he will seek to murder them. Sin is quicksilver, it looks good but it will cause insanity and death.

The Heart

6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed stands here before the LORD."
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:6-7

It has the sound of something that should make us feel hopeful, yet the more I think about it the less hope I feel.

David - Part 1

If you grow up going to church there is a good chance some of the earliest stories you experience as are the epic Old Testament stories of Jonah, Moses, Joshua, and David. Felt board figures still decorate my recollection of these stories. The whale, the city walls tumbling, and a little boy and his sling against a mighty giant.

Even to those who did not go to Sunday school these set of stories are among those you never remember hearing a first time. Like your name you don't ever remember it, you simply know it.

That is the way I am with these stories, I can imagine it is that way for many, if not most people my age. I do not remember my introduction to David, he has always been there, but unlike many stories his has not remained fixed. David is not King Arthur, or Robin Hood. His story contains layers and themes beyond others. As I have grown, so has David's story.

I'm embarking upon a study of David. To be truthful I've read David's story many times, and recently I've heard several messages over his life. I found myself finding different aspects and lessons that I think are important, not knowing what else to do with all of the ideas I've got floating around in my head I've decided to start a blog series. I am not sure the extent of the study or how much I will actually have to say, I am not sure what I have to say is worth writing or reading. What I do know is that this will be much more likely to happen than the set of lessons I saw in my head for my Sunday School class, or the idea of a book that was in the wildest and most fanciful of daydreams.

I will start with the story everyone starts with, David and Goliath.

Its easy to see why a kid obsessed as I was with comic book heros would be so drawn to this story. How much bigger than life can you get? There is a boy, stepping onto a field to face an overwhelming opponent. His opponent has defeated all others, he is alone without any to save him if he should fail. While all others hide their face and despair this boy charges the enemy not with the might of a sword, or the fierceness of a bow, only a stone and his faith.

As a kid I read and reread that story in my picture Bible. I remember taking our big family Bible at some point and looking up the story of David and Goliath and was shocked to find a rather graphic picture very unlike the one in my little Bible. This picture had a severed head, I was intrigued, I had to get the rest of that story.

The longer I read David the more epic he became. He is a warrior, a priest, a king, a poet, a musician, a friend, a redeemer, an adulterer, a murder, an outcast, a mourner, and a repenter.

David is not a likely kind of hero, he is a shepherd when we meet him. He's the youngest boy, sent to take care of sheep and go bring food to his brothers.

Its not just that David has an interesting life though, its that David's life and struggles hold deep thematic symbols for the life of another man born centuries later.

We are all at one point hiding from a foe to large for us to defeat. We hide with no one to help us. We look to our government, but like Saul of the Old Testament they are unable to meet this foe. We look to our friends but they look out over the field and are unable to rescue even themselves. We look to our family but they are not capable. We are defeated, until we look to a boy, born of the house of Jesse. He doesn't flinch, he doesn't hide, he looks across the battle field and steps out to meet this foe.

He doesn't need armor, nothing of this world can help him in this fight. He will cast off armor because his strength and protection is not in this world. He will bring no sword, he will bring only a uncut stone. That stone will strike a giant and that giant will crumble like the statue in Daniel's vision.

We are not able to face the giant of death, and sin on our own. It stands on that field of battle having destroyed all others before us. We must look to our David, our shepherd King who walks onto that battle field for us.

Everydayness

A couple of months ago now my wife finished up her Bachelors. We are now officially done with the undergraduate stage of our lives. What now?

I began understanding something the other day that has eluded me, the tendency to not recognize a change in life immediately, only gradually. We are done with our undergraduate, that may not seem life changing but it is. We are now "dinks", we are now free to plan evenings, and weekends, holidays are still a cage match of family interests but that is another post.

What to do with our time now? I don't know. One of the things being in college does for you is insert change into the everyday routine. Its like scheduling change into the Fall and Spring every year. Even the summer has a different feel when you know the change that is coming soon after. I haven't been in school for a year but my wife's school did that for both of us. There were late night study sessions, runs to Barnes and Noble, comfort food breaks and a steady decoration of folders and notebooks along the couch and living room floor.

What to do now? When life is dictated for so long its hard to find your way to understanding what to do without that constant time master around. We've run the gamete over the last few months. We've spent massive amounts of time "catching up" on classics such as "House M.D." and we've spent time eating out with friends, going out and eating more dessert than we should.

There seems to be an everydayness creeping in. Maybe this is why so many of our friends are having kids. They reached this point a couple of years ago, spent some time sitting and waiting for events and decided they wanted to insert a little chaos into the mix. With my wife being a teacher she is well versed in the chaos factor of kids, she said one of the things she enjoys the most is the fact that its never the same.

So here we are, I'm hoping that over the next several years we can enjoy the everydayness, and break the monotony with a dog, traveling, maybe picking up an extreme sport (skydiving) or a scooter (motorcycle), buying a house. There are millions of ways to insert chaos, and some of them don't require diaper changes.

Somethings Missing

Saw Terminator Salvation this week, not a very good movie.  Like many of the sequels / remakes these days its primary currency is nostalgia.  You have tiny pieces of the original film pasted throughout that give you short smile, but not much else.  There is no story, no emotional investment, nothing.  It feels like a hollow note out of place and off key.  

This afternoon I opened up Netflix and saw that the original was available on instant play.  I've had several experiences where the nostalgic memory of a TV show or movie colors my perception, I wondered if that was the case with Terminator.  It has been probably 10 years since I've seen the TV edited version of the original.  I loaded it up and watched it through.

First thing was that the movie is just as good as I remembered it, maybe even better.  In the age of computer generated effects seeing the work of Stan Winston made me smile.  Now those were special effects.  The animatronics and make up work are just phenomenal.  The thing that stays with me after watching the movie though was its commitment.  

Every movie shoots for PG-13, and the original Terminator is a definite R.  It would have never been made today, or if it had it would have been a completely different movie.  It takes a seriousness regarding the material to sell such an outlandish concept.  Time travel, cyborgs, sentient computer systems.  To sell the movie you have to take it seriously, and a serious take on the movie means that it is almost certain to be rated R.  The idea is that PG-13 movies make more.  If the lifetime of the franchise is considered would that be the case? 

The problem is one of formula -- 1:30 runtime x PG-13 rating + lead male star + lead female star x ($xx,xxx,xxx) = $x,xxx,xxx,xxx.  You cannot quantify movies like that.  The current theory is "mining" proven intellectual property. What happens when they run out of properties to mine?

Where is the new idea, the new franchise in the making?  With the current limitations they are placing on movies how will they create the next big thing?  Its a risk / reward model.  What they are doing is cashing in on the risks of the past, but they are destroying the viability of the future.  As much as I hate to admit it I miss the 80's and 90's.  It makes me sound old, but its true.

I miss being amazed at special effects in movies.  I miss seeing completely new stories and hearing original music.  Nothing hasn't been affected by the wave of been there done that.  Music, movies are all just remakes and remixes.  The new Terminator is really just fleshing out the story from the first one.  They add a few different plot points but there is no real suspense, you know the end.  The funny thing is that even though I've seen the original Terminator several times it was as intense as it was the first time.  How did they do that?  They need to teach the current wave of filmmakers how that is done, I think its more than just me that misses the intensity.  

Cupid

A little while back we were flipping stations looking for some hours to kill before bed and came across this cheese-ball of a show that happened to be the best thing on. The longer I watched the more familiar it seemed. The setup around this man in serious need of some sort of depressant attempting to get people to hook up. During the cut to commercial there was the title Cupid. I was stunned.

About 10 years ago I was addicted to a show named Cupid. A guy named Trevor, thinks he's Cupid, kicked off Olympus, if he gets enough couples matched up he gets admittance back onto that most spectacular of mountain tops. His foil is Claire, the psychiatrist assigned to him because come on, he thinks he's Cupid. Could this be a revival of that show? I wasn't really sure, it had been a while since I had seen the it, but this didn't have the feel of what I was remembering. The premise was the same, but the soul was different.

Quick search of YouTube revealed every episode (all 13 of them) posted and awaiting my viewing pleasure. My wife and I quickly devoured every episode that YouTube had to offer, and were both rather somber when the realization that there would never be another one sank in.

This was a great show!!! It took an outlandish concept and made it work. The writing was smart and sharp. The actors were above usual TV grade - in fact the lead actor of the show was non-other than Jeremy Piven. Who better to play an over-caffeinated, match-making madman?!!?? Why was it cancelled???

Apparently low ratings finished off Cupid. A Saturday night time slot did not work for its audience. Of course a Saturday night time slot does it for very few shows. Why?? It was another case of wondering how in the world studio executives still keep drawing paychecks. Someone realized that Cupid was a gem and tried to revive it, but the quality is not there, they are missing the point and they will never get that cast back.

Watching the old Cupid was like meeting a lost acquaintance and spending lunch time catching up. Why can't good shows stay on the air? Guess its for the best, if shows like this were on all the time I wouldn't get much done.

I can't say that I'm entirely sad that it was killed before it got a second season, a complete first season would have been nice though. There were a lot of questions, was Trevor really Cupid? Would he hook up with Claire and break out of his "delusion"? The show was far to smart to actively engage in trying to answer these questions. Its good that the show finished before writers came along who actually thought it would be a good idea to answer whether Trevor was really Cupid. The good die young in TV shows too I guess...

20/20

Several weeks ago, while my wife was still busy with school, I took the opportunity to watch a movie that I knew she wouldn't enjoy, one of the "art flicks" that drive her crazy.  It was a movie called Let the Right One In that had made quite a few top ten lists on some of the blogs I read.  

The movie was billed as a "sweet coming of age story with a vampire twist" some called it a grown ups Twilight.  I watched the movie and wondered at how so many people who are "professionals" could be so wrong.  Were they watching the same movie?  Either they weren't or they had no understanding of what this movie was about.  This was not a "sweet coming of age story" this was a horrific story about a dark, life altering choice for a young man.

Spoiler ahead, just a warning, don't think anyone who will be reading this will want to watch this movie anyway but warning...

The story begins with a boy during the awkward years that gap elementary and high school.  He is picked on by those around him and is ignored by his parents.  Left for hours alone he develops a fascination with death, he keeps newspaper clippings of murders that he flips through.  He has a knife that he keeps close and caresses after thumbing through the articles.  He spends time alone in the courtyard and stabs at trees reciting the same phrases used by his bullies.  One night a new family moves in, a father and daughter.

The man covers the windows of the apartment.  Later you see him ambushing a man in a wooded area, he strings him up in a tree and bleeds him into a container.  Some women walking a dog disturb him before he is finished.  The man runs and next you see him he is frightened and pathetic mass being berated by a small girl.  The shot focuses on the man, slumped low against the wall, terrified of whoever the girl is.  

The girl leaves.  A group of people are walking home, a man splits from his companions and walks underneath a bridge, a small figure ask him to help her.  He walks to her asking if she needs help, she says yes, says that she's been hurt and can't walk.  He moves towards her telling her not to worry he will help, he gets close and she suddenly wraps around him, clinging to him and his neck as she kills him.  The girl is revealed to be a young girl Eli.

This is the introduction of the two main characters in the film, Oskar a disturbed, bullied boy and Eli a evil vampiric entity.  What comes after can play at being a sweet love story between Oskar and Eli.  They meet, find companionship in their loneliness, she helps him learn to deal with the bullies, she gains a much needed friend.  That is not the movie though, that is the deception Eli is acting out for Oskar.

The misunderstanding of this movie stems from a misunderstanding of Eli.  She is a parasite, she is evil wrapped in a twelve year old girls body.  The movie is about Oskar's seduction by this vampire.  Everything about her is a deception.  She looks twelve but says that she has been twelve for a long time.  She acts sweet towards Oskar but she is a brutal killer.  She has obviously decieved most of the audience as well.  Was this intended?  Did the filmmaker intend for Eli to draw the audiences sympathy?

I find it hard to understand how.  

Eli is Oskar's dark longings, his homicidal imagination.  She is the dark thing that is growing in his soul during his neglect and beatings.

If this movie were made only 10 or 15 years ago it may have been different.  There may have been redemption at the end, there might have been a moment when Oskar recognized Eli for a vampire and not a friend.  This movie is to modern for that, it finishes in the middle of the story, after the consummation of wrath, leaving you to wonder how long this "happiness" of Oskar's will last.  There will be that moment in life where you recognize what evil has done to you.  You will be confronted with the results of your selfishness, your lust, your rage, it is the law of reaping and sowing.

How do so many people see something so different in this movie?  After doing a few quick searches I found out that the book was much more straight forward.  There is no ambiguity there, reviews of the book talk of how malevolent Eli is.  This may be the most pure horror I have seen in a while, it is the destruction of a young boy's soul, his surrender to something dark.  

This movie is an unfinished story that would make a great illustration for a sermon.

Generational Chasm

 

We took pictures at a wedding back in January, this is my favorite image from the wedding.  Since the couple are my clients I do not feel that I can honestly comment on the wedding.  I will say that I wondered what this elderly couple thought as they shuffled through their grandchild's wedding.  The gap, no chasm, between the two was staggering.  How alien this world must feel to the Greatest Generation.  I wonder if they watch the news, their street, even their progeny and wonder where their America went.

Doubt

In a tough spot right now. I have come to a major intersection of my beliefs and I am struggling with the turn I must make. This began about a month ago, it was a tremor at first, now it is a major movement in my life. All I felt was truth has begun to fall away and I am for the first time in doubt about what it means to be a Christian.

"The feet upwards, the head downwards he falls"

A month ago I saw a friend of mine who introduced me to much of the apologetics I have clung to, Schaffer, Lewis, and Zakerius. He mentioned to me some of the problems he was struggling with, namely the lack of morality in the Old Testament. I was a little uncomfortable as soon as he voiced his concerns. They were broad and we didn't dwell on them, you cannot really debate morality during a normal afternoon conversation. Instead I went home and began studying.

I set my direction on defending the God of the Old Testament as every bit as merciful and just as the God of the New. This should be easy, its the same God, he didn't change, our perception may have, but he did not. My first stop was David, this study went well. David is not really that hard to defend, nor God's blessings on him. David is a radical, something God always cherishes. He did everything with enthusiasm and without a thought to the opinions of others, including adultery and murder. Despite his sin he was a Godly man, he worshiped, he repented, he acknowledged God.

After David I began to formulate my overall defense and I hit a snag. I began poking around slavery in the Bible and like many before me found myself taken aback. The practice of slavery itself is not to hard to explain, there was no social security of the day, everyday life was like managing a rather large small business. Food did not come in microwaveable containers, water was not available by turning a knob. Slavery was voluntary (for the most part) and not perpetual or based on race. Then there was a disturbing verse in Exodus 21 that lead me to the disturbing verses in Leviticus 25.

I will not write out the verses, they essentially made me doubt God's goodness. Doubting what God gives us as an attribute of himself is dangerous. Who are we to call God on his actions?

Let me tell you about my God, let me tell you that even if you doubt his goodness, even if you don't understand he is good. When I left for Easter service I had begun writing this blog post. I had titled it Doubt, and I set off for church with an unsettled spirit. I sat through worship without worshipping. I could not bring myself to sing praises with the doubt in my heart. The message started and Pastor Greg began talking about doubt.....

Yes, the message was over doubt and unbelief. An Easter service whose message was about doubt. It felt like God came and sat next to me, leaned close and whispered that he knew where I was, and knew what I was struggling with. He said that no matter how much I doubt his goodness he still cares enough about me to seek me out, and to bring me back.

God is great, God is good, let us thank him!!!

The Palace - Corsicana, TX