Sunday, November 07, 2004
**I'm posting this against better judgment, while the connections seem clear in my mind they don't translate from mind to paper -- its late and I'm tired, I may tinker with it later, see if I can make my way to something coherent***
God gives all of us certain things we’re good at. My friend is an extrovert, everyone loves him, he’s the party. He is gravity.
When I met him, he was almost 300 pounds, in the matter of nine months he pulled off 120 pounds of fat and added pure muscle.
He’s made over $800,000 dollars investing in the stock market using his retirement funds. He’s lost over a million dollars in the stock market, and several tens of thousands at the boats in Louisiana.
He never completed high school; he dropped out to work at a Subway because he got his girlfriend (first wife) pregnant. He got his GED, studied computer networking, worked his way into several high paying jobs, and then quit them.
He met his second wife a few months after his divorce. Had two kids. Lost everything gambling while they were married, she split.
He’s smart, brilliant in some ways, and the most ignorant man I know. He plays big, and looses big.
He is the most evolutionary person I have ever met. Change is a way of life for him.
He’s one year older than me.
I wouldn’t trade lives with him, but I envy him. A successful looser.
I understand why he draws women to him, I understand without comprehension. He’s that guy, the single father of three little girls, he’s the bad boy, he’s athletic, he ask you like he cares, he offers advice to his friends like he’s a sage, and they listen. He’s a year away from having the next girlfriend, fiancé, or wife leave because he’s so unstable. Everything is fluid with him. He’s “that guy.”
Do all relationships have to operate with such self deceit at the beginning? I know the girls he’s dated / married believed that all his craziness was in the past, that he would be / was changed. They liked that he was dangerous, then despise him for it later.
Me I’m like my friends doppelganger. My life is safe, lived within practical confines. I’ve been stuck in a moderate mode of success. I’m introverted to a degree, never been the life of the party, never lost or gained a fortune, never been married.
I will never be “that guy.”
Several weeks ago a girl I was dating went quietly out of my life. We had a few conversations, I did, said, or looked a certain way, and she said, “I’ll call you” at the end of a phone call.
Experience tells me “I’ll call you” is a polite goodbye. I didn’t call her back, didn’t write, but I thought about her. I played it as cool as I knew how, I’m not “that guy” I don’t create drama. Some would call this being normal.
What went wrong?
At some point, I may find out what happened, what went wrong. Will it be something trivial?
I’m not my friend, I’m not “that guy” I wouldn’t want to be, but sometimes vacationing as him for a little while might be nice.
God gives all of us certain things we’re good at. My friend is an extrovert, everyone loves him, he’s the party. He is gravity.
When I met him, he was almost 300 pounds, in the matter of nine months he pulled off 120 pounds of fat and added pure muscle.
He’s made over $800,000 dollars investing in the stock market using his retirement funds. He’s lost over a million dollars in the stock market, and several tens of thousands at the boats in Louisiana.
He never completed high school; he dropped out to work at a Subway because he got his girlfriend (first wife) pregnant. He got his GED, studied computer networking, worked his way into several high paying jobs, and then quit them.
He met his second wife a few months after his divorce. Had two kids. Lost everything gambling while they were married, she split.
He’s smart, brilliant in some ways, and the most ignorant man I know. He plays big, and looses big.
He is the most evolutionary person I have ever met. Change is a way of life for him.
He’s one year older than me.
I wouldn’t trade lives with him, but I envy him. A successful looser.
I understand why he draws women to him, I understand without comprehension. He’s that guy, the single father of three little girls, he’s the bad boy, he’s athletic, he ask you like he cares, he offers advice to his friends like he’s a sage, and they listen. He’s a year away from having the next girlfriend, fiancé, or wife leave because he’s so unstable. Everything is fluid with him. He’s “that guy.”
Do all relationships have to operate with such self deceit at the beginning? I know the girls he’s dated / married believed that all his craziness was in the past, that he would be / was changed. They liked that he was dangerous, then despise him for it later.
Me I’m like my friends doppelganger. My life is safe, lived within practical confines. I’ve been stuck in a moderate mode of success. I’m introverted to a degree, never been the life of the party, never lost or gained a fortune, never been married.
I will never be “that guy.”
Several weeks ago a girl I was dating went quietly out of my life. We had a few conversations, I did, said, or looked a certain way, and she said, “I’ll call you” at the end of a phone call.
Experience tells me “I’ll call you” is a polite goodbye. I didn’t call her back, didn’t write, but I thought about her. I played it as cool as I knew how, I’m not “that guy” I don’t create drama. Some would call this being normal.
What went wrong?
At some point, I may find out what happened, what went wrong. Will it be something trivial?
I’m not my friend, I’m not “that guy” I wouldn’t want to be, but sometimes vacationing as him for a little while might be nice.
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