Severe Weather Days

Severe weather days are the "snow days" of south Texas. In honor of our first severe weather day of the year I wanted to post the top five things to do during a severe weather day.

5.) Hoard gas!!! You should anxiously fill every spare tank with gasoline, you never know when sniffing the fumes will be your only relief from the boredom that comes after a few hours without electricity.

While your at it you should hoard everything. Grab Sam's size portions of baked beans and packs of peanuts. You never know when you may need 5lbs of Vienna sausages.

4.) Assess blame!!! Why do we still have storms? If Wiley Coyote can invent a weather machine why hasn't the government created one yet? Why has someone not done something about this already? I personally blame George Bush.

3.) Panic!!! Severe weather gives you an excuse to LOOOSSEEEE YOUR MIND!! The higher the number associated with the hurricane the more insanity there is to be had. Panic allows your fantasies to run wild. For appropriate level of panic try to relate the situation to some form of disaster movie. It's important to relate to the appropriate disaster movie though, The Day After Tomorrow, no good, has to happy and optimistic of an ending. Think Apocalypse Now or Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome!!! That's right, think Mel Gibson's greasy hair.

Yes this is what your hair will look like in the post apocalyptic world of this storm ladies. That should put the appropriate fear into you.

2.) Loot!!! Hurricane season and the Christmas holiday season are back to back, why not get an early start?? Looting is like a 100% off sale with the added benefit of being like a real live version of Grand Theft Auto. You get to run from cops, snort pepper spray and get that sweet LCD TV you've had your eye on.

1.) Celebrate your Anniversary!! Yep thats right, it was our Anniversary today. What a great time for a storm to hit. We just completed our 2nd year of marriage and WOW what a great two years. We celebrated with a little looting, some panic, and sniffing a little gas, if somethings not broke don't fix it :)...

The Day of One's Death

"The day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth..." Ecclesiastes 7:1

My wife's Grandfather passed yesterday. He was a strong man beaten by blows from diabetes, liver failure, and infection. Each took turns humbling a once proud man. The goodbyes that linger the longest are the hardest, and his goodbye lingered.

Saying goodbye with such finality is hard. You begin saying goodbye when they stop being the person you knew, because that person is already gone. As their body is beaten their spirit is bruised, the humor and personality are abandoned. They struggle for breath, and conversation is no more than soft whisper.

While we have been visiting I walked around their place. Ten acres of land surround them. A pasture for the cattle, a shed, and a space for a garden. There is a nice backyard with a soft carpet of grass, not a thing to be taken for granted in the dry climate.

I have thought much about my Gramps and Grandpa during this time. I guess what I'm really thinking about is the passing of a generation. These men we're loosing, they were real men. They were all married to the same woman for 50 years, they raised big families, they grew and built.

Dirt and grease on hard hands. Sun dried faces fresh touched by razors. Few words, much action. Building and tending to everything they had. They wasted nothing, they valued everything they had.

Now the grass overtakes the fence, and the shed needs repair and paint.

"One generation passes away, and another generation comes;
But the earth abides forever." - Ecclesiastes 1:4

God has rigged it hasn't he? There is no winning, we are all Sisyphus rolling the stone up the hill only to watch it roll down again.

Statue from the National Cathedral in Washington DC.

Several years ago I stood in front of the mirror of my apartment's bathroom, I stared into my own eyes and asked myself a question "what are you doing?" The question came on a Sunday afternoon after a weekend filled with sin that I thought of sincerely as fun at the time. I was empty, alone, and sad.

For some time I just stood there, then I prayed and asked God to lead me to somewhere far away from that place.

God did not leave me alone, a few months later I found myself with a group of people I now consider my closest friends. I began going to a college / career group called RLU and I will call it heaven sent, because that's how I felt and feel about it. God answered a deep need, and used a group of single believers to draw me closer to him. I loved RLU, I loved it dearly. It was a moment in my life that I will always look back to as wonderful, it was God answering prayer.

The group disbanded right about the time I met my wife, talk about God's timing. I've felt as though God provided a bridge between two points in my life. He needed me broken first, and he allowed me to get far enough away from him to feel the dark taint of sin, then he gathered me gently back, and put me in a place where I needed to be for my wife.

While it was a short time, I still look back on that time with fondness. What surprises me is the way others talk about that time, and not just about RLU, but about singles groups in general. There is no part of life not filled with some awkwardness, some amount of annoyance, yet for some it seems the focus of all evil in the church is the singles group (exaggerated for effect).

There is a tendency to find fault where others do, something about mob-mentality that destroys the sweetness of something when bitter words are cast out against it. I've heard remarks about how "awkward" that time was, how "messed up" it was, how it was nothing more than a "meat market" and I think to myself, "well why did you go?"

I found myself second guessing my memories of that time, wondering if I somehow left details out. No matter how hard I look though I still cannot find the bitter in anything other than the fact that it is gone, and will not be there for the next "me" who needs a bridge from one part of their lives to the other.

Some memories.

Going to Crystal Beach with Richard to just hang out. Leaving as the sun was rising over I45 sometime around 5AM.

River-Run, my cousin went, it was right before he became a father and such trips were no longer possible.

Suppressed Desire party, I won the "dinner for two."

July 4th party, John Ford with the complete hook up on the house.

Galveston, Brazos Bend, Miller Outdoor Theater, Thursday night - always Thursday, and late night Taco Cabana.

I did know what I had, and its gone, I wouldn't go back, but it was certainly a nice rest stop.

Friendships

A couple of posts ago I commented on the cyclical nature of friendships. My focus of the post was a friend of my wife's but my own friendships came to mind as well. A friend that has drifted in and out over the last several years moved in a couple of apartments down from me this last week. He is a friend, but one of the infrequent friends that seem to populate a work week and not weekend. He is recently divorced, the aftermath of which has left him in a one bedroom apartment in a sad older complex all alone.

Divorce scares me perhaps more than anything else. Its everywhere, and across racial / social divides. There is no segment of the population who are not touched. The Bible says that husband and wife are considered one flesh, one person, it follows that divorce is the murder of that person. Over the past couple of years I have seen the adaption from single to couple, and I can say that I am no longer the same person. I've wondered at divorce more now that I'm married than I did before, how does it work? How do you separate yourself from someone who has been flesh of your flesh? I would find it akin to deciding one day that I could no longer live with my right hand, and taking a hacksaw to it. When you wake up the morning after leaving your (w)(l)ife what part of you is left?

Amputees report still feeling as if their limbs were attached, a man I knew growing up who had lost his pinky said that the worst was when his missing pinky itched. Wouldn't life after divorce have the same sensation, the sense that its still there, but not there enough to actually touch.

My favorite part of Lord of the Rings is Gollum. If there was ever a character that represents sin and ugliness of humanity its him. He is eaten up with the love and hate for something that is torturing him, that has caused him infinite pain, and has driven him away from all he loves and cares for. Try as Gollum might he can never in and of himself be rid of the Ring (or evil), even as it sends him to a fiery abyss he cradles it in his arms and calls it "precious."

What sin in my life do I call "precious" that hurts me, and causes me to hurt others. What may drive others away, and divide me from everything I love and care for.

This pic is from the National Cathedral's door. I like finding subtle details to photograph. Of all the pics I took while being there this is my favorite, I like places where the closer the look the more you find, intricate I believe is the word.

Decline and Fall

After we got back from Washington DC I had a whole lot to say. We had visited a group of sites that are symbols of what our country's soul. I wrote a long post in my personal journal about my feelings, they are not positive, many sites left me with a deep uneasiness at what our country has come to value.

The greater uneasiness also has to do with the decay I see around the capital. There is sense of not necessarily danger, but a sense that you should be cautious when you're walking through DC. I've heard since that DC is not that bad - but not that good either. Here is something that I found interesting though, and that is my response to the capital now as opposed to eight years ago.

Eight years ago I went to DC and found the city incredible. I was in love with DC, spent time jumping between the different sites even late into the night. I was alone for much of that trip (maybe a future blog post) and never felt anything other than complete wonder. This time I felt uneasy for much of the trip, why? Has the city changed. I felt that maybe it had. Since I was there last 9/11 occurred. Where there was once an open lawn in front of the Capital Building now stands an impressive metal fence. The fence looks to be of solid steel and formidable, its not an addition made for aesthetics. You can walk across the lawn, but it is less opened than before. I wondered if perhaps the capital reflected an underlying mood, suspicion, and perhaps I was picking up on that. Another thing that has changed since I went to DC last, and that was now I have a wife.

Assuming the role of a husband and feeling responsible for the safety of another is a strange thing. I wonder if my cautious gaze is not due to my wife walking beside me. It is amazing how much marriage changes you. There is a tendency to feel that marriage is just another step or passing sign in your life, but it is far more than that. I cannot create an analogy that will make sense to those who have not experienced it. I remember my Dad seemed to be constantly telling me that I would "understand when I'm older" and he was right, I do understand now. We are just not capable of comprehending something so far out of the reality we know, we can observe it, but in experience is the only true understanding.

I have thought a lot about the cyclical nature of friendships. I cannot name the number of people who seem to rotate in and out of my life. Friendships are amazing things, they add color and shading to our lives, creating something more vivid than before.

Enough of analogy, why am I thinking about friendships? Well two things. One is the departure of some very dear friends of ours. They are moving to Florida. (Future posts idea -- couple friends -- spent some time inserting it into this post but that is not what this post is about.) They have been our "goto" friends for the past year or so, the friends you call at the spur of the moment to do margaritas, movies, or just hanging out. The great thing about goto friends is that the best times are often had without plans. Over the past year the best of times have been had with our goto friends, they are already missed, and the blank spots in our nights will be hard to fill. We took some pictures of them before they left - one was the picture included in this post. It's hard to watch friends move away, but even harder to watch them drift away.

This weekend we attended a wedding for one of my wife's friends. It was not the happy event that it should have been. A couple of months ago her friend found herself on the wrong side of marriage and pregnant. This weekend she had a small backyard ceremony, and after a few giggled oaths her boyfriend became her husband. It's hard to summarize feelings on such an occasion. There are lots of tight smiles and disingenuous congratulations. Statistics tell us that chances of happy endings in such situations are not good. What type of ending is "good" in such a situation?

On the long drive home my wife sat silently for a long time and stared into the passing East Texas landscape. The sun was casting the last touches of the days light along the fields and small towns we passed. My wife's friend has slowly drifted away over the past couple of years. They were friends whose relationship was based on the past, and that distance is far greater than the one between us and our friends in Florida.

There are tiny margins that separate different possibilities in our lives. How many moments separate any of us from a life far different from the one we picture ourself in. A backyard wedding seems an appropriate example for the choices that mark the biggest of changes in our lives.

Continuing what I would like to think of as stellar consistency I am posting yet again. I've maintained a once a year post for the last several years. I won't say their worth the wait, but for the one of me that goes back and reads this it doesn't matter :)..

Wow, one bad thing about only posting once a year is the overwhelming amount of material to catch up on. I graduated this semester. I have finished a 10 year long track in getting my BBA. I don't know whether to call it a success or not. The process was so long that I've come to the end not knowing whether to be proud or ashamed. My wife is proud of me, she told me it was comforting that I don't give up on my dreams, and that I won't ever stop working on them.

Other's comment "you've been going to school as long as I've known you." I won't lie it stings a little. I'm aware that by some measure I am like one of the last few crossing the finish line.

Reminds me of a track meet in middle school. I decided to run the 200 (1/2 of the track). I lined up (you could spot me easy because I was the shortest one in the lineup), and waited for the gun (in my mind it was a gun - maybe not), it went off and for a few seconds I was with everyone else, fighting for the lead, then everyone seemed to drop it into some gear I didn't have. I watched as the pack left me further and further behind. It felt as if my legs just wouldn't work properly, I was running as fast as I could and yet when I turned the corner all the others were already at the finish line. I finished the race, and found that I had run my fastest time ever, but my fastest was just not good enough.

Felt that way at graduation. I had run as fast as I could, yet all these kids were crossing when I had just turned the corner. I thought of something a little later on, I remember that race. Along the sideline there were a few of my team-mates and they were cheering for me, they weren't even in the race, but they were supporting me. At graduation I had a sideline as well - my Wife, Mom, Dad, and Mother-in-law. My Mom cried, and I could tell my Dad was proud. They were cheering from the sidelines, but they never made it to the race. I was in the race - even if I finished last, I finished.

Took this picture at Herman Park's Japanese Garden. The bamboo has all been maked with graffitti, giving it all these man made scars. Pretty cool looking actually. Pictures are frustrating to take underneather their canopy, its dark, and the light doesn't bounce very well. After several attempts got this pic, not to bad. Gonna try morning instead of afternoon next time, the light should work a little better..  

Chapel near Estes Park Colorado... 

Went to Colorado for my Honeymoon. While we were there my wife wanted to go to the Denver Zoo, I'm glad she did, its an amazing place. Denver is tempered enough that the animals stay very active. I think Houston's heat oppresses the animals here, thinking of starting a movement to "Free the Monkeys..."  

I SAID NO MAYO!!! 

He wants a fish, I would give it to him... 

This is of a Jaguar at the Denver Zoo. He was pacing back and forth in his cage, watching the crowd. He was equally intimidating, and sad.  

Another picture of the vain bird, not sure what it is, but I like it :) 

This was taken at the Denver Zoo -- very human animal, enjoys looking at himself as much as we do :)... 

Never happy with the candids I take of people, this one is no exception, but I found something to like about the pic after I had given it a more film grain style look. This was taken late night in Quincy Market. These two gentlemen seemed to spend themselves arguing some point I was to polite to listen in on, then paused for several minutes as if to regain a sense of composure. I snapped a couple of pics from the side. I wonder if my pic is floating around digital photo albums. I will never know these two men but here I have captured this quiet moment that seems almost intimate.
 

Not sure the name of this tower but thought it looked pretty cool -- played with the image some (as if you couldn't tell) but think it's worth showing off anyway... 

Inside Fenway Park -- gotta love the traditional seating... 

This was outside Fenway -- nothing like the sidewalk vendor sausages -- thought the flame looked pretty cool... 

The Old State House... 

This reminds me I need a coffee :) -- taken in Boston's "North Town" (Little Italy) 

Took pics for my fiancee's brothers wedding (say it three times fast) -- this was the pic of the day, was a nervous wreck but this pic made the day worth it all... 

Yeah more flower stuff -- I should stop taking pics of flowers think I have enough :) 

Found this horse-shoe interesting -- no telling how old it is... 

Hydranjus (yeah I have no idea how to spell this) -- great time of day... 

Grandma's Blueberry patch 

Some more.. 

Just a flower pic 

It's been one month since my last post, did ya miss me? A blog I read regularly did a whole month of posts on what they called the "lost days" between Thanksgiving and Christmas, their goal was to save those days, reclaim them as productive, meaningful days. I say to heck with that, I did say to heck with that, I wasted em all!!! Well not really but let's just say I did because I had enough fun during those days that I needed to ask forgiveness and to mention them again would be a sin.

I wish that were true, it's not. I went skiing the week before Christmas. The good of it, the mountains, Colorado is magnificent, a poet, a nation of poets would be required to describe the artistry, and the brilliance God painted down the Western middle of America. My breath goes short just in memory of it. Some would say that if you live in the shadow of such mountains their power is lost on you, that the common place robs you of the wonder, that cannot be, I can't believe that.

The bad of the trip was the nature of the "friends" I went on the trip with. I put friends in quotes because if you've taken a trip with a few (10 to 15) friends before you know that two or three of them are your friends, the others are your friends friends, or their friends friends, who you may get along with in some abstract kind of fantasy world setting (also known as a barbeque) but not in a intimate I'm going to be in a vehicle with you for almost 50 hours kind of setting.

Should I be magnanimous and stop there or should I name names? I can't decide. Okay fine, I'll give an in between, no names just descriptions as good as names.

So Winter Park is roughly 19 hours from Clear Lake TX driving straight through, give or take giving number of stops (by that I mean the number of women in the car =) <-- sorry ladies I just couldn't help myself). Round trip should be no more than say 42 hours if you're generous and give several hours to extra stops and maybe an accident or two. We spent fifty one hours together.

We spent over an hour sitting in the Woodlands because a preppy, know it all, self absorbed punk thought it would be cool to have us stop by his car dealer to see if his truck was ready. No, he didn't call ahead and find out, no it wasn't ready, no and of course we didn't mind blowing an hour at the end of what had already been a long trip just so he could avoid the bother of a phone call. Of course, I'm sure no one else minded. Everyone loves the jackass, or at least some of them do. Do you get the vibe that maybe I don’t?

He's so transparent, so cocky, and so into himself. He's a guy who owns five pairs of Oakley's, and brings all of them on the trip. He's a guy who brings a parachute (yes a parachute) to a New Years Eve party and then packs it in the living room. Why would he do this? Well it's just more convenient to pack a parachute at a crowded New Years Eve party where everyone is watching and can marvel that this super human who has decided to grace us with his presences. Maybe it also had something to do with wanting to brag about sky-diving. Can you tell I may not care for this guy? He owns a Land Rover and a boat, he owns a small country's worth of debt, and he lives with his Mom.

Did I mention he's in the Army (don't know which rank) and served in Afghanistan? Yeah that's the point where most people like him, especially the folks down here in Texas. Of course, you couldn't miss him being a solider because he mentions it often. So let's recap, I'm a jackass because I don't like this guy everyone else loves. I'm a real dick because I loathe him, because you know he's a veteran of Afghanistan, he's a national hero.

Did I mention that I threatened to rip his head off during the car ride, not in the funnin around way either; I would have taken his head off if I could. Oh and I told him this in the middle of this trip at full volume so as to make sure everyone else in the car knew how I felt. Should I discuss why? I had reasons, I had good reasons. He was playing jokes with the vehicle while driving down iced roads that wind sharp down the middle of the mountains. He took his hands off the wheel, slammed on the brakes and shouted "Oh my God" then I said something that involved him and his mother, and how I felt I might need to take his head from his body if he did something that stupid again.

Like I said the mountains were incredible. Does anyone want to be my friend, I'm runnin short right now =)...

I violated airport security taking (or trying to take) pictures this weekend. Sunday afternoon a friend of mine brought me out to a spot where he sits and watches planes break the “ceiling” (he’s a pilot so he’s allowed to use pilot-speak) and coast in. I had just enough time to snap a few test frames before FAA security personnel showed up and asked us to leave.

To my surprise what I was doing was a national security risk. If I’m intent on getting the pictures I want, I’ll need to get a little more James Bond.

I’m thinking of starting an operation to get the pictures I want. Operation DumbButt. The crux of this operation involves me driving around Hobby airport in a suspicious manner waiting for an opportunity to jump out and take a couple of pictures. It took a good ten minutes for a response from FAA security so I figure I have a window of ten minutes to get the picture and get out. That’s Operation DumbButt objective 1, get the picture. Objective 2 involves me staying out of jail.

Objective 2 is the most important part of the operation. The FAA sec guy pointed out several cameras in the vicinity of our watch area. There’s a good chance that after a successful completion of Objective 1 I run the risk of having Objective 2 fall apart while FBI, CIA, and NSA park black helicopters over my apartment and drag me to seedy warehouses filled with all manner of equipment that probes you in all the wrong ways (unless you happen to be into that kind of thing).

Once I’ve determined how to complete Objective 2, once I’m certain I haven’t been spotted, tagged, or contained for committing an act that violates National Security, I’ll move onto Objective 3, posting the pictures on the internet =)…

There’s an alien on my porch. I found him three months ago, abandoned on the small lawn outside my apartment.

He’s a tiny guy, kind of slimy and gray. He just sits there, sunning himself during the day, waiting for his chance to phone home.

I set him on my porch thinking that whatever kid lost him would come back by, see him sitting on my railing, and rescue him. He’s had no such luck.

He’s held up pretty well so far, he gets a little sweaty on the hot days but it’s nothing he can’t handle. I thought the other day about him sitting out on my porch like some Native Man’s totem, my own personal gargoyle. Is this how superstition starts? I find an inanimate child’s toy lying in the grass, and set it on my porch. If he lasts another year I may give him a name. Two years and he’ll be a permanent decoration.

Given enough time, the thing seems to take on more and more significance. If he lasts a generation, he may become an heirloom, and if he lasts two, he may become a good luck charm. Three generations may make him some a sort of family saint, a protector.

My alien’s consistency isn’t made of a generation spanning material; my point was that maybe that is how legend, superstition, magic, and idols are created. They are novelties, trivial, but give them some time…

This is another pic I took last Wednesday -- wish the compression didn't take some much out of the image... 

Took this pic last Wednesday. The only reason I got this and several other shots were because a auto-parts store rented out some tools they said they would keep for me. I had to detour, run across town, and find another parts supply store that had the tools I needed. On my way out to my parent?s house, I saw the moon was out, and the sky was grapefruit pink. I drove to this park not far from their place on the bay and found it still and at rest. I spent over an hour out there, just taking pictures. It was worth the delay.